8 Red Flags That You Might Be in an Abusive Relationship
Domestic violence doesn’t always manifest as physical abuse; it can involve emotional, financial, or psychological control that escalates over time. Recognising the signs is crucial to acknowledging the situation and seeking help.
Here are 8 “Red Flags” that may indicate you are in a domestic violence relationship. These behaviours are neither normal nor acceptable, and identifying them can empower you to take action for your safety and well-being.
1. Control Over Your Actions
Your partner tries to take charge of every part of your life. They might tell you what clothes you can wear, who you can talk to, or where you are allowed to go. This behaviour makes you feel like you can’t make your own choices or live freely.
2. Isolation
They stop you from spending time with your friends, family, or other people who care about you. This can make you feel lonely and like you have no one to turn to except them. They might do this, so you depend only on them and have no outside support.
3. Verbal Threats or Intimidation
Your partner may say scary things to control you. They might threaten to hurt you, people you care about, or even themselves if you don’t do what they want. These threats will make you afraid and force you to follow their rules.
4. Fear of Saying or Doing the Wrong Thing
You might feel like you’re always trying to avoid upsetting your partner. It’s like walking on eggshells because you’re scared of what might happen if you say or do something they don’t like. This fear can make you feel anxious all the time.
5. Constant Criticism
Your partner often says mean things to you, making you feel bad about yourself. They might say you’re not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. Over time, this can make you lose confidence and believe their negative words.
6. Financial Control
They try to control all the money in the relationship. They might stop you from getting a job, take your money, or refuse to give you any to spend. This makes it harder for you to leave the relationship because you might feel trapped without money to support yourself.
7. Physical Abuse
Your partner hurts you physically like hitting, slapping, pushing, choking, or worse. Even if they say they didn’t mean to or promise it won’t happen again, this is never okay. Physical abuse can leave both visible and invisible scars.
8. Blaming You for Their Actions
They never admit when they’re wrong. Instead, they say it’s your fault they’re angry or hurtful. They might say things like, “You made me do this,” to avoid taking responsibility for their bad behaviour.
If any of these sound familiar, remember: this is not your fault, and you do not deserve to be treated this way. Reach out to someone you trust, an organisation like ours or the Tears Foundation, who can help. We believe you. We see you.
Tears Foundation
Tears Foundation provides free counselling and referral services to survivors of domestic violence and GBV. Contact the toll-free 24-hour helpline.
Call 0800 083 277 or
Dial *134*7355# or
WhatsApp 066 435 3108